Thursday 20.10.2022/ 23 R. Awal 1444H ....... Did not make entry on this date😁

Thursday 03.11.2022/ 08 R. Akhir 1444H

7.13am

Usai solat, did morning exercises as usual to start a new day.         

What happened? No entry in early 2022? Too busy? Forgetful? 

Busy...yes, forgetful.....also yes 😂

Busy getting healthy. ... TCA after TCA; test after test; and now going through treatment....

Allah SWT is testing me n my family again with the illness after more than 20 years. To add to it, Mak was taken from us on Thursday, 30 March 2022..... My state of mind? Guess I can not put down in words...... Some how it is bearable because I believe in Him n His 'Ketentuan'...... When testing me, He provide me with a strong support... a loving family❤. My daughter has come home to take care of her aged parents since the onset of the pandemic. ( She just called out to me to go for breakfast... my favourite, lomaikai...😍)

Will continue later...........

Saturday 31.12.2022  10.28pm

Wow less than 2 hours before 2023..... what am I to write before saying goodbye tò 2022? Hmmmmm

What was my preoccupation for this year ? I must admit it is trying to SURVIVE... in my private space...... Just like the 1st time, I don't want to share my problem with anyone outside my immediate family circle.... I guarded the occurance so fiecely that it remains my secret till this moment. May Allah SWT forgive me for being stubborn.....

This time around, the health problem is complicated by numerous factors..... Age, Covid, existing health issues to name a few....

20 years older this time. The body natural defence machanism is definitely weaker. Memory is less sharp.... Daughter constantly reminding me to drink water😂..... Had to double check whether I have taken my daily meds n supplements..... etc, etc

Covid situation does not help..... I kept turning down doctors' advice to have the growth removed. I told them I am not taking the risk because I have not gotten my 2nd Covid booster yet.... And I am not ready to get exposed to the virus that is in the hospital air.

As for existing health issues.... there are many. The ghost of sport injuries come back to haunt...... Lumba n cervical spondylosis always cause nerve problems...... including weaker legs, back pain.... Both damaged knees worsened the condtion.... Being over weight does not help.......                                                                                                                 The damages caused by the treatment 20 years ago also add to the problem..... The right arm that developed lympodema leaves the left arm to be needled again n again... Blue black is the color...... Running vein is another legacy of the previous treatment. Blood taking is always an ordeal. Being successful the first try is very remote.....                  Having hypertention condition also makes treatment more vulnerable.... More caution needed to monitor the BP.

Well, As I always believe, Allah SWT know best. Allah SWT do not test His hamba with something beyond the hamba ability to endure. Just like the 1st time, I redha n I am working hard to find my cure. Inn Sya Allah.

With the love n support of my husband, my daughter, my son & his family n my dearest sister, the yellow butterfly, Bismillahirahmanirahim, I am saying goobye to 2022 n hello to 2023 with love...❤❤❤